Bumper stickey stuff

Some new submissions from The Other Cait...

1. Save a cow, eat a vegetarian.
2. Gun control is hitting your target.
3. Born to squeeze a trigger.
4. Drive it like you stole it

Keep'em coming guys and gals!!

Not too long now...

P.S. Here are a couple of my own to add to the list...

1. If you can read this, I'm not impressed. Most people can read.
2. Has the Wizard gotten back to you on that brain?

I didn't have to teach my son this: TAKE 2

Oh boy... is this one for the scrapbook Hall of Shame of what?!

Our family sat down together for dinner this evening, a habit/practice we try to keep every night that I am not busy working at the clinic. One of the dinnertime topics of conversation usually revolves around the question-of-the-day from a little flip calendar of topics and questions designed for families.

Tonight's question:

"If you could have an unconventional pet, which one would you choose?"

After the typical ponderings over such critters as goats, snakes, birds, tigers, lizards, and, dare I say it, spiders, Zach finally came to the most logical conclusion he could think of - his final answer:

"I want a woman."

That's my boy...

Now who has WHO?

Quote of the week

"Never Argue With An Idiot. They Will Drag You Down To Their Level, Then Beat You With Experience." Anonymous

My family - we couldn't be more proud

I did NOT have to teach my son THIS...

I firmly believe that fathers have an innate ability to pass certain irrefutable knowledge on to their sons. This is accomplished most often by their mere example in combination with the sons' uncanny ability to identify these truths even at an early age.

Today's example...

My son Zachary recently discovered a box of Matchbox cars that he had owned for a couple of years but had been unplayed-with for at least 6 months. As such, these were of course "new" cars to him. I had just come home from meeting with a friend of mine when he came bouncing up to me Tigger-style with the joyous revelation he'd uncovered and proceeded to inform me that I needed to come see his newly-found treasures.

I followed the Tennessee Jumping Bean into the playroom where he had the cars lined up in almost (and I cannot believe I'm using this word) NASCAR style on the floor with the faster-looking cars up front and the slower vehicles behind. As soon as I took in this scene he announced,

"Look Dad! They're racing! They're having a big race!"

---short pause here---

"Well, except for this minivan - it can't race."

GENIUS!! I never had to tell him the inglorious truths regarding minivans - he knew this instinctively!! Gee whiz I love my sons...

P.S. I've had a couple of emails in support of minivans... from moms... of course. God Bless moms - but we still can't race their cars.

16 in, 16 to go...

Well! We're halfway with the bumper stickers... 16 entries in and 16 more to come...

The latest comes from HazMatt:

"Put down the cell phone. It might help you lose some of that weight."

Hmmmm - I think that has to be one of the early favorites...

The first entries...

Here are the first reader-submitted entries for the Bumper Sticker Contest that I have affectionately called:

THE BIG BUMP OFF

1. Sometown, Alaska - a small drinking village with a fishing problem (submitted by jules)

2. Yes this is my pickup truck, No I can't help you move (submitted by laura)

3. Tailgate me and I will flick a booger on your windshield (submitted by laura)

Keep 'em coming! I will take entries until we have 32 of them and then run a Heal/Hurt (to be explained later to all of you NON-video game enthusiasts) to determine the winner!! Check back soon!!

Back to the Bumper Sticker Contest

Ok folks... I've collected just a few bumper stickers to start things off so maybe they will jog your collective memories and you'll send some more than the grand total I've gotten so far (one!). I've made some of these up - so if they're not on a bumper sticker, they should be!!

Here are the candidates - no voting now, just for perusal...

1. My other car is a broom.

2. If I HAD another car, I'd be driving it instead of talking about on my trunk.

3. If God isn't a Tennessee fan, why are sunsets orange and white?

4. If you hit me, I will have a sore neck

5. Friends don't let friends drive blue tractors

6. Bumper stickers - the only legitimate excuse to look at someone's backside

7. Visualize whirled peas

8. Nuke the gay whales for Jesus

9. Welfare is for those who don't want to work. Disability is for Welfarees who are good at pretending.

10. My taxes pay for your Welfare.

11. Dog is my co-pilot.

12. Visualize using your turn signal

13. I am the Player To Be Named Later

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down!

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear 'the rules' from the female side.

Now here are 'the rules' from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports:
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus DID NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,'
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have enough shoes.

1. I AM in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

1. Men should get a big laugh out of this list

1. Women should get a bigger laugh out of it.

Ssssh... don't tell on me PLEASE!

I might get the state veterinary board called on me for this one... oh, but it would be worth it!!

I had to post this one... no title necessary

...yet still I made one. Humph. Go figure.

I found this during one of my evening web browsing for veterinary research info. If this doesn't convince you to get your teeth cleaned, nothing will. I'm SO glad this happened to a Persian.

I guess the kids must be right after all...

...whining DOES work!!

I had to laugh when I got absolutely deluged with response when I emailed everyone about my blogs. I guess that all I had to do was whine a little and everyone jumps!!

Seriously - I loved connecting a little bit with everyone. I hope we'll keep up with each other. Somehow I posted that one twice thanks to an misplaced edited version... love the comments though so I will post those comments here from the unedited version and then ZAPPO! GONZO! Gonzo... geez I like that guy.

Comments below:

jules said...

I notice bumper stickers more now...really I DO! LOL Mostly how unrepeatable most of them would be!

Anyways, between selling the house, packing the house, moving me and the kids to one place (13 miles away) and preparing Eric to go to another ( Hawaii), preparing for another deployment ( Oct-May), school, house, etc etc....I do check your blog :) but...hmmmm...your last entry was 2 months ago...you must write more to get read more :)
Check out our blog for our updates...ALOT going on here right now. We move on Sunday.
Keep writing and I will keep reading :)

August 9, 2007 10:16 PM

the journey said...

I'm actually kinda mad you haven't linked me to this before, you dummy. . . :o)

August 10, 2007 4:16 AM

LNA said...

Hey!!!I look at your blog everyday but I've got no License Plates to share. Now if you asked about the subject I have always wanted to collect--well you would have heard from me. The ole he is one brick shy or both her oars aren't in the water etc etc etc

Well THAT one flopped...

I guess that my sports blog must have scared everyone off because the only reply I've had to the bumper sticker request was from the fantastically brilliant Atkins family (the Hawaiian via Washington ones) who replied that despite their best efforts, nothing was coming to mind.

So I guess that basically this is a blog that eventually gets read by my wife and me for our own semi-perverted amusement. I think I am beginning to understand what the 97three.com crew must feel like. Great material and struggling to find an audience.

Hmmm... guess I'll have to start advertising.




P.S. Half the time my wife is watching over my shoulder as I write, so I cannot even really claim her as a "reader" or "subscriber" either. Guess she'll have to start her own blog to mess with MY mind - which is nearly impossible to do, since I deal with people and their animals all day long. Hit me with your best shots folks... oops, forgot there's none of you out there listening.

I've got a request - bumper stickers please!

Hey everyone!!

I had this great idea the other day and decided I'd better get it on my blog before I found it elsewhere and someone blamed me for plagiarism... ha!

Anyways - please take a moment to think back and add a comment here with your 1 or 2 favorite bumper stickers of all time. I will compile the best ones I get and try to make a funky tournament thing that will be in the form of a multi-round poll to determine the best one of all time. If I don't have enough for that I might just do a heal/hurt-style game for a survival-of-the-fittest sort of contest.

So bring 'em on! If you want to email them to me you're welcome to!

(see under bumper of Jeep below: "If you can read this, turn me over")

I hope I never grow up

I've had this weekend off as I do half the time, and I've enjoyed spending some time with family and friends. I guess I really have to go back to Memorial Day to complete the "I'm a kid and always will be" stuff I set out to write about tonight.

We bought our first house a little over a year ago and one of the joys of home ownership is fix-it projects and the like. My son Zach LOVES to help with these, so when my wife needed a bigger garden space a couple of weeks ago he helped me cut the sod, till the soil, and move the sod to an area of our lawn devoid of grass. He particularly loved hooking the huge rescue sled full of sod to the back of the truck and dragging it over to the balding area. I'm not sure what he thought was so funny but by the time we were done I was laughing so hard at him laughing at whatever-it-was that I had to stop the truck for fear of running into the barn. Today he helped me retill the remaining sodless area so that we could seed it and such - which we did and I must say he is a GREAT grass seed chucker. Ah, the sight of progress...

But then we HAD to do something like that after Daddy (that's me) created another fix-it project quite intentionally-unintentionally while enjoying some guy time during the Monday Memorial Day family cookout at our place. Zach's Uncle Andy, Judd (a friend), Zach, Grandpa Powers, and Daddy all played homerun derby in the backyard. Nothing fancy but we took an old lean wood bat (not the honkin' Louisville Slugger style) and an old tennis ball and made ourselves a homerun line consisting of the peak of the hill at the edge of our yard next to the large ex-church-turned-karate-dojo next door (which served as our Green Monster in left thru left-center field) and the peak of the hills that lead up onto our front lawn (in center thru right)... quite the cool bowl area. Hitting one on the fly into the road counted as 2 runs as did hitting one over the 3 1/2 story high roof of the dojo. Strategically placed in MY favorite hitting zone in right-center field stands is, you guessed it, our house. Round 1 went to Uncle Andy who hit 7 homers before recording 10 outs. Round 2 and 3 went to me with 5 dingers in each round. Round 4 was the exciting one - this one eventually went to Andy who won over me in the third overtime when we tied in regulation at 4 each. In the second overtime, our little fix-it project came to be...

I am batting with one out (we get three swings in each OT) when I get one of my favorite pitches - low and inside - POW!! A laserbeam shot right at our picture window - SNAP! BOING! The tennis ball ricochets on the fly the approximately 60 feet back to where I hit it from and the window is left intact but jiggling like a bowl of Jello. Whew!! Next pitch (another near-perfect one) - POW!! CHINK!! SMASH!! THUD. Doink. Doink. Eeew. Let me explain - the ball was smoked on a frozen rope towards one of the OLD windows in our mudroom. Upon contacting the thin glass the ball proceed to make a near perfect round hole (CHINK) taking that approximately 4 inch round piece of glass with it across the entire depth of the porch (12 feet) and smashing it against the opposite wall (SMASH), bouncing off that wall and rebounding to hit the near wall (THUD) and bouncing to a stop (Boink. Boink.). Eeew. Not to mention it was an out.

Now where is my ex-Portland Glass cousin Eric when I need him? Looks like another project for Zach and Daddy.

Changing channels...

Zach was watching me play some Ghost Recon 2 on my XBOX today and decided to "join in" with his cap gun. As I would zero in on an enemy, Zach would duck for cover and start laying down suppressive fire on the TV until the guy was toast. I didn't think the concept of the video game had really sunk in until I listened to him relay the story to my wife at dinner...

"Yeah! Daddy was doing the Jeep game (his name for any shooter game - starting with the Halo series) and I helped him! Daddy was inside the TV and I was outside! We shot them and they were toast!"

God bless the children!! Including me!!

A laser blast from my childhood past... and an argument set to rest

This article is written in response to a message board post on starwars.com that asked the following question:

"Why does Ponda Baba's arm bleed when severed by Obi-Wan? In Expanded Universe and the other movies when a lightsaber cuts through someone the skin is melted together and no blood comes out but in Episode 4 Obi wan (in the mos eisly cantina) cuts a guys arm off and there was clearly blood!"

From a medical perspective, the Mos Eisley Cantina scene where Ponda Baba (Walrus Man) gets his arm cut off is actually plausible whereas the "Anakin Split" scene in Episode 3 is totally unrealistic.

Lightsabers do amazing things but they cannot defy the boundaries of physiology. Cauterization is a long-established method of controlling hemorrhage but it has its limits. Electrocautery or laser cautery depend on a combination of factors*:

1. Heat
2. Focus of energy (heat) which is sometimes called the current density - this is a mix of two subfactors:
2a. Frequency of the energy wave
2b. Magnitude of energy involved (aka POWER!)
3. TIME (in contact with substance being cauterized)
4. Presence or absence of liquid material (e.g BLOOD!)

Even the most finely-tuned cauterization unit (e.g. lightsaber) has it's limitations when it comes to vessel size, blood pressure, and balance of factors* previously mentioned. Obviously a saber rates very high in the #1 and #2 factors but often lacks when it comes to factor #3 (speaking primarily of battle and not of "door melting"). In its overwhelmingly popular usage in the Star Wars world, the primary purpose of the saber is to cut. In this capacity, the magnitude of the energy must be extremely high in order to vaporize tissue - this makes it a VERY POOR coagulation (aka cauterization) unit even WITHOUT taking any of the other factors into consideration. If you DID take these one-by-one you'd notice that the likelihood of this weapon cauterizing anything larger than an arteriole or venule (very small arteries or veins) would be remote at best. Therefore, it will be limited when it comes to major solitary vessels, especially the aortic artery and its primary branches. Not to mention that skin and muscle do not "melt" in the sense that they cannot take on a "sticky" liquid form like some would like to propose - although when tissue is cut or is necrosing it WILL become somewhat sticky as the body's own coagulation processes take effect, though this effect is NOT even remotely instantaneous except on the most minuscule level.

One side note - lightsaber cuts SHOULD be relatively painless once the cut is done since the nerves SHOULD be cauterized even with the high energy level... see if you can go through the films and pick out the level of pain response in each saber victim!

Now to apply these principles to some of the more well-known and oft-debated scenes of lightsaber amputations, etc...

First - Obi-Wan vs. Ponda Baba in Mos Eisley Cantina. As mentioned before, this is probably one of the most realistic saber cut results known. If you look at the freeze frame of Ponda Baba's arm you will see that it is severed approximately mid-humerus or possibly as low as the distal third of the humerus. In this area there are at least two major blood vessels whose pressure would keep them from being subject to simple cauterization - even if the right combination of factors were in place for max coag. So the arm should bleed out whatever blood is within the major vessels and the stump should bleed profusely from these two vessels and some passive bleeding from the back pressure in the major veins. Ponda' stump didn't bleed all that much in the movie so not perfect but close.

Second - Luke's amputation thanks to Darth Vader in Episode 5. This too is fairly realistic and dukes it out with Ponda as the most impressively accurate cut in Lucas's original trilogy. The cut is much lower than Ponda's and is likely considered to be distal antebrachium (lower forearm) by most fans. The vessels here are numerous but their pressure and size make them much easier to coagulate - not to mention Luke is holding the arm for much of his banter with Vader after the slice. Who knows? Maybe the 20-30 seconds of holding it make up for the saber's poor coag ability? Probably not, but we'll pretend it does.

Third - Darth Maul dies. Okay - this one lacks realism on only one level: BLOOD. Yes this cut would kill someone, but it would kill from loss of blood only and that loss would be large and FAST. This cut severs DMaul right at the base of the aortic artery before it splits into the twin femoral arteries that we can remember so vividly from Blackhawk Down right? But you cannot sell a movie with an R-rating after the tame gore in the original flicks. Talk about a dive in ticket sales!

Fourth - Qui-Gon dies. Ditto from the Darth Maul story. If the aortic artery doesn't bleed, Qui-Gon doesn't become a ghost. After all, its basically lightsaber hari-kari WITHOUT the twist.

Fifth - Anakin becomes a midget. Hmmm... this one doesn't add up. If Darth Maul died from being chopped in half (his aorta was cut), then Anakin should be a ghost at this point too because the femoral arteries that are the primary blood supply to the legs are only about 1/3 smaller than the aorta itself and there is almost NO drop in blood pressure once they split - we're talking vessels you could fit your thumb into! So when Annie was orphaned from his native legs at the upper thigh level, we're talking MAJOR squirtage folks! Perhaps the coag process was aided by the red hot mess he landed on - unfortunately this doesn't wash only because his stumps weren't flat on top of that stuff.

If anyone wants to send me more examples from the films, I will be happy to elaborate on their +/- as far as realism. I only say this because if you've read this far you're obviously one of the more enlightened Star Wars geeks out there and I wanted to give you space to broaden your horizons a little. Ha!!

On a miscellaneous note, another member of starwars.com made an excellent point that he/she did NOT elaborate upon that COULD make a huge difference in the whole Law of Coag Versus Cut stuff - alien physiology. The member's ID is Tarkin the Ewok - wanted to give props where they are due! Alien physiology in some races/species COULD possibly make the difference in this argument in the sense that IF certain alien types had bodies that were devoid of major blood vessels and were basically walking conglomerations of capillary beds and arteriole/venule complexes, you COULD have a cut and cauterization happening at a medium energy level. These individuals would have to be very small, slow, weak, and basically devoid of movement, but they COULD exist although individuals that fit this description are not likely to engage in battle with a Jedi or Sith. And most of our examples actually come from humans anyways. Too bad Jabba didn't get lightsabered - we could've tested that theory in film!!

My son is a comedic genius

As a parent, th... er, WHOA!! Did I just say "As a parent" ??!!? I cannot believe the world has come to this - ME? a PARENT?! Okay - everyone who knew me growing up can laugh a little thinking on THAT little tidbit.

As I was saying, as a parent I am never totally ready for the next thing to come out of my children's mouths. For example, when Cole said his first word I actually stopped what I was doing and turned around to look at this little guy standing there with this huge shocked grin on his face as though he just realized what he'd done. He obviously knew that it got my attention - and now he won't stop saying that word. Fortunately the word was "YES" and BOY can I have fun with THAT!! The unfortunate thing is that now he will say it for EVERY question regardless of his comprehension. And YOU thought you had it bad when your child said "NO"? Ha!

Ok - back to the "comedic genius." That would be Zachary and boy does his mind hold it in like a steel trap! He can even hear what I mutter under my breath sometimes - I swear he must be part mother. Anyways - earlier this evening we were playing together and I was chasing his scrawny little butt (SO not Plumley there pal!) with his stuffed killer whale. I pretended to eat the whale when he turned it on me and then out of the blue Zach leaned over and pretended to chomp my arm off... and being the dad that I am howled in pain and made the arm disappear, much to his delight.

Then I asked him, "Oh no! What am I gonna do with only one arm?!?"

To which he immediately grabbed the arm hidden behind my back and proceeded to pretend to "vomit up" my arm (complete with a wipe of his mouth on his sleeve to clean up after the dirty deed) and put it back on - after which he held the arm up so I could see it better and said, "There Daddy! Now you can use TWO arms again!"

What can I say? I mean a Daddy can't play Tickle Fight or Wrestle with one arm right?

Top 100 songs of 1991

Hey! Check out the top 100 songs of 1991! The year I graduated... the first time. If you're curious or just morbidly bored, go to this link HERE and type in the appropriate year in the search box.

My personal faves are in BOLD!!

Props to my cuz'n Haggie - she was the "inthspiration"... ;)

1. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You, Bryan Adams
2. I Wanna Sex You Up, Color Me Badd
3. Gonna Make You Sweat, C+C Music Factory
4. Rush Rush, Paula Abdul
5. One More Try, Timmy T
6. Unbelievable, EMF
7. More Than Words, Extreme
8. I Like The Way (The Kissing Game), Hi-Five
9. The First Time, Surface
10. Baby, Baby, Amy Grant
11. Motownphilly, Boyz II Men
12. Because I Love You (The Postman Song), Stevie B
13. Someday, Mariah Carey
14. High Enough, Damn yankees
15. From A Distance, Bette Midler
16. All The Man That I Need, Whitney Houston
17. Right Here, Right Now, Jesus Jones
18. I Adore Mi Amor, Color Me Badd
19. Love Will Never Do (Without You), Janet Jackson
20. Good Vibrations, Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch Featuring Loleatta Holloway
21. Justify My Love, Madonna
22. Emotions, Mariah Carey
23. Joyride, Roxette
24. Romantic, Karyn White
25. I Don't Wanna Cry, Mariah Carey
26. Hold You Tight, Tara Kemp
27. You're In Love, Wilson Phillips
28. Every Heartbeat, Amy Grant
29. Sensitivity, Ralph Tresvant
30. Touch Me (All Night Long), Cathy Dennis
31. I've Been Thinking About You, Londonbeat
32. Do Anything, Natural Selection
33. Losing My Religion, R.E.M.
34. Coming Out Of The Dark. Gloria Estefan
35. Here We Go. C+C Music Factory
36. It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over, Lenny Kravitz
37. Where Does My Heart Beat Now, Celine Dion
38. Summertime, D.J. Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince
39. Wind Of Change, Scorpions
40. P.A.S.S.I.O.N., Rhythm Syndicate
41. The Promise Of A New Day, Paula Abdul
42. I'm Your Baby Tonight, Whitney Houston
43. Love Of A Lifetime, Firehouse
44. Fading Like A Flower (Every Time You Leave), Roxette
45. This House, Tracie Spencer
46. Hole Hearted, Extreme
47. Power Of Love-Love Power, Luther Vandross
48. Impulsive, Wilson Phillips
49. Love Is A Wonderful Thing, Michael Bolton
50. Rhythm Of My Heart, Rod Stewart
51. Things That Make You Go Hmmmm..., C+C Music Factory
52. I Touch Myself, Divinyls
53. Tom's Diner, DMA
54. Iesha, Another Bad Creation
55. Something To Talk About, Bonnie Raitt
56. After The Rain, Nelson
57. Play That Funky Music**, Vanilla Ice
58. Temptation, Corina
59. Can't Stop This Thing We Started, Bryan Adams
60. I Can't Wait Another Minute, Hi-Five
61. 3 A.M. Eternal, The KLF
62. Time, Love and Tenderness, Michael Bolton
63. Saideness Part I, Enigrna
64. Around The Way Girl, LL Cool J
65. I'll Be There, Escape Club
66. Cream, Prince and The N.P.G.
67. Now That We Found Love, Heavy D. and The Boyz
68. Show Me The Way, Styx
69. Love Takes Time, Mariah Carey
70. Cry For Help, Rick Astley
71. The Way You Do The Things You Do, UB40
72. Here I Am (Come and Take Me), UB40
73. Signs, Tesla
74. Too Many Walls, Cathy Dennis
75. Crazy, Seal
76. I'll Give All My Love To You, Keith Sweat
77. Place In This World, Michael W. Smith
78. Something To Believe In, Poison
79. Wicked Game, Chris Issak
80. Get Here, Oleta Adams
81. Round and Round, Tevin Campbell
82. Silent Lucidity, Queensryche
83. I'm Not In Love, Will To Power
84. Piece Of My Heart, Tara Kemp
85. Real Real Real, Jesus Jones
87. Just Another Dream, Cathy Dennis
88. Everybody Plays The Fool, Aaron Neville
88. Strike It Up, Black Box
89. Rico Suave, Gerardo
90. Disappear, INXS
91. Groove Is In The Heart, Deee-Lite
92. All This Time, Sting
93. The One and Only, Chesney Hawkes
94. O.P.P., Naughty By Nature
95. Freedom 90, George Michael
96. I Saw Red, Warrent
97. Miles Away, Winger
98. Do You Want Me, Salt-N-Pepa
99. The Motown Song, Rod Stewart
100. Shiny Happy People, R.E.M.

**I only highlighted this because of my Hokie brothers-in-law!! 'Sup Hokie Homies!!

Puterless again...

I like this laptop that I stole from work for the week. Unfortunately my puter bein' fixed lasted all of a few hours.

I was only able to get the durn thing running by doing a reinstall of Windows - unfortunately in the process of the install, the puter decided to format my original boot drive (along with all my personal, financial, business, etc. info) prior to installing Windows on a different drive. Hmmm...

Hopefully DJMikeD is even now finishing up the "recovery" process. If it even works... talk about OUCH if it doesn't. What about my backup? Hmmm.... well, it (my HUGE external HDD) happens to be the temporary brain of my dad's puter for the moment until he can resurrect his own machine or get a new one (or let me build him a new one). So much for data security. And thank goodness for friends and family.

I saw this great laptop carry bag for sale (49% off!!)... unfortunately I don't own a laptop. My wife says, "Start small and get the bag first!" Not that I am one to turn down a chance to spend money on myself, but I told her that this idea was sorta like buying the tires for your Ferrari before you buy the car: not as fulfilling as you'd imagined it would be, but GOSH don't they look nice?!

Zach has been Mr. Over the Hedge and he and I both belly-laugh at Hammy - I could hardly breathe and I'm not sure if Zach was laughing more at me or the movie. Cole is Mr. Personality and although he hasn't said a distinct word he is quite the conversationist.

We have translated Cole-speak to figure out words like "yes" and "bye-bye" and "Dad"... hopefully I can get this all on video before it's gone forever.

Well, on to work on my 100 things list for my other blog and write an article for my sports blog in reference to the latest in March Madness.

I've been long gone for too long...

Sheesh... mu puter has been on the fritz (aka DEAD) for about 3 weeks before last night at about this time.

And one of my buddies needs to do a recovery on one of my hard drives... YUK. Thank God for friends and family!!

I'm going to bed - will update our world soon! After I'm done doing it to my puter...

My list of 100 things...

1. I am married to the most beautiful woman in the world

2. I am not the only person on earth who thinks so

3. I love sports

4. NASCAR isn't a sport ... fits right in with professional wrestling but more expensive

5. I love most animals

6. I trust none of them

7. I hate snakes, spiders, and only like sharks in movies

where they eat people

8. I don't like to swim in the ocean

9. I have lived in the Green Mountains, the White Mountains, the Appalachian Mountains, the Smokey Mountains, and I have visited the Rocky Mountains and the Sierra Nevadas.

10. I don't like flat states too much

11. I don't like tornados but I like movies about them

12. I like volcanos, but I don't like movies about them

13. I am a conservative Republican - but I am a budding environmentalist

14. I've been published

15. No, you've never read me before

16. Oops - I guess I just lied ... something I did with frequency, determination, and skill as a teenager (but only to my parents)

17. I bleed orange

18. I love the Red Sox

19. the yankees? see #18... and no, I've NEVER capitalized the "y" word, even if it meant getting points off for spelling in school. You think I'm kidding ...

20. Green Monsters rock - Wally, Oscar, you name it ... oh yeah, Elmo too - he has Red Sox

21. The Cubs will not win a World Series in my lifetime

22. Contrary to popular belief, Pat Summitt is one of the sweetest ladies you could ever meet and Peyton Manning isn't boring at all. I know ... I've met them.

23. Peyton Manning went to school with me

24. My two best friends are both at least 6 foot 4 inches tall.

25. I'm a little shorter than that

26. I thoroughly enjoy cartography - my third choice as a profession

27. Choice #2 was to be a fighter pilot

28. I open doors for women because I respect them

29. I still love video games (see picture) and have been called a "vidiot" by my own mother

30. My Dad was an Olympic class skiier - but chose to serve his country and have a family instead of pursuing an athletic career

31. I will never forget either of these choices - they revolutionized my viewpoint of myself as an athlete, a man, and a father

32. I once hit 33 NBA three-pointers in a row

33. My favorite NBA player was Larry Bird ... #33

34. I have been schooled by a female college hoops player

35. I'd rather hit a jumpshot in someone's face than dunk

36. I am a good shot blocker (aka "I am a skilled metalworker")

37. I have a vivid imagination

38. I'm kinda competitive

39. My family and close friends are laughing their heads off right now

40. I am an avid golfer ... but I stink at golf

41. My golf buddy is my banker ... but I don't mind beating him

42. I have golfed in February in New Hampshire, in June in North Carolina, in 12 consecutive months in Tennessee and in the following conditions: snow, rain, sleet, hail, lightning, 50 mph winds, and 45 minutes after sunset.

43. I believe car alarms are completely useless ... but both my cars have them

44. I believe seatbelts are second only to the Bible in saving lives

45. I have contributed to the delinquency of a minor - and I am related to him

46. I have broken the law and been forgiven for doing it

47. I love animated movies and VeggieTales

48. I have a receding hairline that is 50% genetics and 50% veterinary school

49. I love and quote 2 Kings 2:23-24 on a regular basis

50. I used to love to read in my free time

51. Veterinary school is an effective antidote for this hobby

52. I have traveled to Honduras to treat human patients

53. Real doctors treat more than one species

54. Two of my closest friends are physicians

5. I know someone who got 1600 on their SATs - she is in college at age 16

56. I only got 1390 on mine (or so I was told - I forgot!)

57. I think most of my worldly possessions have been either bought or sold on ebay ... including most of my clothes, a car, all of my golf equipment, 95% of my video game/computer stuff, and LOTS of toys

58. Canadians are lousy ebayers

59. I've never been issued a traffic citation of any kind

60. I speed regularly (but don't tell my brother-in-law)

61. My favorite drink is Dr. Pepper... and it has nothing to do with me being "Dr. P" at work

62. I love to fly and I have always wanted to skydive

63. I am afraid of heights

64. Cyrano de Bergerac is my favorite character from classic literature ... the Count of Monte Cristo is a close second

65. I love a good revenge flick

66. Calvin and Hobbes have no equal

67. I hate bratty kids

68. I have been involved in breaking four Guinness Book of World Records records

69. Cutaneous histiocytomas, mast cell tumors, and traumatic diaphragmatic hernias are really cool

70. Cancer really isn't cool ... it sucks pond slime

71. I make my best medical decisions when I am half asleep or treating an emergency case

72. Two items NEVER to economize on: shoes and beds ... we spend 3/4 of our lives in one or the other

73. Weird Al Yankovic is a genius and should get a Grammy for Lifetime Achievement

74. I am NOT one of the ten most intelligent people I know well

75. My IQ is kinda high

76. There is a very short list of men I would trust my family's lives with in an instant and without hesitation: my fathers, Uncle George, Uncle John McG, Chiroman, Dr. John, Dick Brown, my cousin Eric, Dr. Matt, Tab Jordan, and any of my 3 brothers-in-law

77. I have been addicted to pornography

78. God forgiveness and healing are bigger than any sin problem you can conjure, concoct, commit, or conceal

79. I prescribe Valium, narcotics, anti-depressants, tranquilizers, sedative/hypnotics, and anti-psychotic drugs on a regular basis

80. I have never taken any of them

81. I have given over 100,000 injections in my career

82. I hate needles

83. I have faster reflexes than any dog on earth ... and slower ones than any cat's

84. Getting kicked by a horse doesn't hurt all that much

85. Getting kicked by a cow hurts like a bugger

86. <-- years between World Series wins for the Red Sox, the year of their last World Series appearance before that, and also the number of combined runs scored by the Red Sox and yanks in the ALCS in 2004 when Boston became the first MLB team ever to win a series when down 3 games to none.

87. If Ted Williams didn't serve in World War II nobody would be talking about Barry Bonds because the home run record would be completely out of reach

88. I only know one man who takes his baseball team anywhere near as serious as I take mine

89. If I could ask God to change me, I would ask for: half the artistic ability that my cousin Eric has, one-fourth the compassion of the Nancys (Brown and Sleeth), a taste of Solomon's wisdom, ALL of the patience of Job ... and about 5 more inches in height.

90. I am borderline obsessive-compulsive

91. I think that Despair, Inc. and the Demotivators are hilarious

92. I can sit down and watch The Truman Show, The Mask, or Bruce Almighty over and over again ... but I do not consider myself a Jim Carrey fan

93. I can find at least one piece of music that I like in any genre you can name

94. My favorite song is “500 Miles” by the Proclaimers (and SCC)

95. I fell in love with my wife at first sight - before we'd even spoken a word to each other

96. Contrary to a still-circulating story from my teenage years - I have never told a woman that I loved her while also telling another the same thing at the same period in time (i.e. I've never “played the field”)

97. I truly believe that there is nothing more hurtful than misunderstanding and rumors amongst friends

98. Kathy (Brown) Gounaud is the one girl (female) friend that I know with 100% certainty would/will always talk straight to me - about me, God, or anything else ... and I have never come so close to peeing myself as I have when laughing with her

99. I miss Tennessee - it will always be home to me

100. I hate cliches... but God isn't finished with me yet

Been a while...

Life has been a bit crazy lately...

Work continues to be an endless source of joy and frustration... I'm not sure which is winning at the moment.

My family continues to amaze me every day - their love is incredibly palpable, their acceptance is unfatigueable, and their humor is unflappable. Unless of course we're talking about potty training. Ouch. No tips please - we cannot keep up with all the ones we've already gotten... and as we all know, the true genius is the one never heard. Hmmm, guess that leaves ME out.

My Tennessee Lady Vols continue to chew up the competition and their male counterparts have seemingly gotten their act together just in time to make the tournament again. Check out Yahoo! Sports for the free video broadcasts of some of their games! Next one is February 24th at 1pm (men play Arkansas). And if you've never seen Candace Parker play - you're missing something that hasn't been seen in the women's game in my lifetime... try a YouTube search for 'Candace Parker' - YIKES!!

The Ryan Floridians... Josh and Dan have been putting together a ski trip since last fall and it looks like we're all headed out to Colorado for a week to "shoosh and boom" as my Dad would say. Hopefully more shoosh than boom... check back with me in mid March to see if I am still walking...

I hope I will be because I've got a basketball tournament to play in on March 17th... should be interesting - we didn't get to play last year (I had to work) but we came in 3rd the year before that. Check back on the 18th... maybe I'll be in good enough shape to let you all know how it went. At least the seafood after the tourney at the Weathervane will go down nicely :)

Well, enough for now... my wife's birthday is tomorrow and we're headed out to Juniper's (at the Wildflower Inn) for dinner after dropping the boys off with the northern-most set of grandparents. The Wildflower Inn is where we had our rehearsal dinner - can you believe it has been almost 8 years? Wow. Cooool...

Later everybody!!

Caught between loyalties - Super Bowl stuff

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Well - that auspicious time of year is upon us once again. Super Bowl ADS!!! And I hear they're playing a football game somewhere amongst them. I have to wonder how ANY team can get into a rhythm with as many TV breaks that game has.

It is hard to pick this year's game despite nearly all of the media picking Indy in a blowout (which I sincerely hope happens). The same stuff happened when Marino was here and likewise for the Broncos when Elway was close to retirement. The sentimental pick always seems to go to the guy who seems to need it the most.

I'm caught in no-man's land here because I am surrounded by Patriots fans, I've followed the Colts since Manning was drafted, and on top of that no one around here seems to remember that the Pats got CREAMED by the Bears back in '86. They're either picking the Bears because the Colts beat their Pats two weeks ago or they're picking Manning out of sheer sympathy. Would somebody PLEASE put some thought into this!!! Oh... that's my job.

Well, I will save the heavy stuff for my other blog. I plan to post some more in-depth stuff on my sports blog - check out the link over to the right!

Pick: Colts 23 Bears 17... unless Rex Grossman actually thinks he is Joe Montana (then it will be a LOT worse)

P.S. Please post your comments on your fav ads of all time... mine will be posted on my other blog ;)

Happy Blogday!

Well, 34 years old doesn't seem all that long once you've gotten there...

Yesterday was my birthday which was spent as quietly as two young sons would allow. Spending time with them is eye-opening in many ways - none of which I will talk about right now since I've only got 5 minutes before bed... ahh bedtime, something once hated and now nearly revered.

I spent a fair bit of time on the phone with the folks in Virginia, got Mom started on her own blog (check out the link for Me Mum), and wandered around my cousin Eric's homepage. Geez I miss that guy. It seems like yesterday we were spending nearly every other day together.

Well... more soon. Yeah - I'm a sloooww typist.

W-w-www-w-W-H-Y !?!?!?

I am laughing to myself right now.... actually my wife is laughing at me for doing so, so I must be laughing out loud... AT myself.

Anyway - back to reality. I always thought that a blog SHOULD start with some reason WHY it exists. Of course, to define "always" you'd have to consider that blogging has been around for all of like 8657 nanoseconds (in dog years).

Most of my family and extended family and WAY-OUT-THERE family (that's a real demographic designation - look it up here: see six lines below this.com**) are happily touting their blogs as some combo of thoughts, musings, and weirdness - all appear to be recurring themes, especially the "weirdness." Heck, why don't you just read 'em and decide for yourself - after all, isn't that what we Americans do with everything anyway?

**WAY-OUT-THERE family def: [of YouKnowWhoYouAreian origin] 1) Any member, original or linked via matrimony, of the A*****s/Pl*****y clans whose ingrown toenails of Stratfordian thought and Hardwickian oddity set them indiscriminately apart from the rest of society. 2) them 3) us.

Herein lies the reason for the blog - keep up with the family, keep people smiling because life should be laughed at, and an attempt to make a blog unlike the average blog.

Blog: [of Nerdian origin] def: self-centered pseudo-website of eccentric origins and ecclectic whim for those of society too lazy to make a real website.